Friday, December 22, 2006

Candor and Restraint

Still bleeding from the wounds that I sustained when the my real world and the blog world collided, I'm stepping carefully back into the blogshere.

With any luck, a little wiser than before.

At first I railed against the idea that I couldn't write exactly what I wanted, when I wanted to. This was essentially my online journal after all. As I'd never censured myself there, why should I be forced to here? But as my belligerant, self-righetous indignation began to fade, I realized that while I may not necessarily have suppressed my feelings in a traditional journal, I also didn't let go in the entirely unrestrained way that I did in my now defunct blog. In writing a journal, I have always considered the possiblity that someone may indeed someday run across what I have written. I have always been aware that there is always a chance, a slim chance, but one nonetheless, that my mother, my friend, my husband will run across one of those books that carry my most private musings.

In my arrogance, I overlooked this simple possiblity when I was writting my blog. And I've paid an incredibly steep price.

Which is not to say that my blog killed my marriage. But it did, I believe, hasten it's demise.

The question then becomes, where do you draw the line? Balance is tough. Particullarly when you are talking emotions. But I guess that the bottom line becomes the knowledge that you should never say ABOUT someone, what you wouldn't be willing to say TO them. And quite frankly, some thoughts should never be spoken aloud.

Words are very powerful tools. Wield them wisely.

1 comment:

Romance said...

I have thought of you often and am so glad to see you back... I also continue to experience tough lessons due to the collision of worlds.... so sorry things have been so difficult for you -- glad to see you back.